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Turning the Mind & Willingness



  • Life is like a game of cards
  • It makes no difference to a good card player what cards she gets
  • The object is to play whatever hand she gets as well as possible
  • As soon as one hand is played, another hand is dealt
  • The last game is over and the current game is on
  • The idea is to be mindful of the current hand, play it as skillfully as possible, and then let go and focus on the next hand of cards

Distress Tolerance Group # 7: Turning the Mind, Willingness versus Willfulness

 Willingness is accepting what is, together with responding to what is, in an effective and appropriate way.
It is doing what works. It is doing just what is needed in the current situation or moment
Willfulness is imposing one's will on reality- trying to fix everything, or refusing to do what is needed. It is the opposite of doing what works.
Distress Tolerance Homework Sheet 2: Acceptance and Willingness
  • Life is like hitting baseballs from a pitching machine
  • A person's job is just to do her best to hit each ball as it comes.
  • Refusing to accept that a ball is coming does not make it stop coming
  • Willpower, defiance, crying, or whimpering does not make the machine stop pitching the balls; they keep coming over and over and over.
  • A person can stand in the way of a ball and get hit, stand there doing nothing and let the ball go by as a strike, or swing at the ball.

 Willingness versus Willfulness

  • Skills for tolerating and surviving crises
  • Skills for accepting life as it is in the moment
  • Used in situations which cannot be changed and your feelings about the situation are not likely to change anytime soon
  • Skills for reducing suffering  
  •  Willingness is accepting what is, together with responding to what is, in an effective and appropriate way.
  • It is doing what works. It is doing just what is needed in the current situation or moment
  • Willfulness is imposing one's will on reality- trying to fix everything, or refusing to do what is needed. It is the opposite of doing what works.
  • Turning the mind is choosing to accept
  • Acceptance seems to require some sort of choice
  • People have to turn their minds in that direction, so to speak
  • Acceptance sometimes only lasts a moment or two, so people have to keep turning the mind over and over and over.
  • The choice has to be made every day- sometimes many, many times a day, or even an hour or a minute

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